Fears, Prayers, and Baby Girls :)

Heidi

came Wednesday morning at 9:54!!

My Dr gave me the option to induce.

I had never thought of it until he asked . . .

. . . sounded good to me . . .

. . . So I went in and he broke my water at 7:20am. I kept telling him that I wanted to wait to get the epidural. So, I waited . . . I was only dilated to a 4 or 5 before I couldn't handle the pain anymore (I was already shaking REALLY bad, I am just a big sissy). I signed me up for one, then had to wait what felt like forever.

I always heard that epidurals slowed things down . . .

Heidi came into the world an hour later, facing forward. Bree would have, but the doc turned her for me. He did no such thing this time and it took everything I had left to just get that poor little one in my arms. I was so weak afterwards that I had to ask Chad to help me hold her.

But I held her, and she nursed. She eats so well.

They aren't allowing anyone younger than 14 in the hospital as a visitor, so it was just Heidi and me for most of the two days I spent there. And it was SO nice just to get to know Heidi. But I missed my little Bree terribly.

I still miss her. I can't hold her or touch her right now because she came down with a fever of 102 the night we brought Heidi home. I miss my little Breanne so much. It is so hard to keep my distance, but I love Heidi, too, and she is why I can resist the urge to give Bree kisses and hugs. I don't know what I would do if Heidi got sick so soon. Dad takes care of Bree for now and has to resist the urge to hold Heidi (until he washes his hands, anyway).

I have barricaded myself in the room with Heidi. It is funny because Chad and I were expecting a sleepless night when Heidi came home because we had one when Breanne came home. We did have a sleepless night this time, but it was not because of Heidi . . . it was because Bree got sick. I kept thinking, "If Chad gets sick, I am going to have to be able to take care of all three without contaminating this new little life."

The next day we took Bree into the Dr's office and they ordered a test for H1N1. I really don't think she has it because the fever was completely gone when we got her to the dr's office. But, they said with a newborn in the house, we can't be too cautious.

We find out the results today.

With the sleep deprivation, worries, and hormones I can't say how often I have been in tears. I was so mad when Bree came down with a fever. I did everything I could to keep her healthy for this week, and it made no difference.

Breanne is still sick, but it really seems like it is on its way out. Hopefully it has left the rest of us unscathed. I guess only time will tell.

Other than that, everything is going well.

Heidi is healthy and SO cute.

We aren't accepting visitors at all. I am so paranoid. Someone asked me how it felt to bring a baby into the world this winter season. I said, "Do you honestly want to know?" When she said yes I told her about Breanne coming down with a fever the night we got the baby home. She seemed to understand my feelings about it. But we have the Priesthood when it comes necessary.

I really think prayers right now are doing so much. I have no idea how many times I was on my knees that first day we brought Heidi home (even before we realized Bree was sick). And then even more so after.

And we all seem to be doing so well.

And Heidi eats so well.

That is such a big deal to me. Hopefully if I DO get it (whatever it is) I can manage not giving it to Heidi and she can just reap the benenfits of antibodies when it is past.

I forgot about Halloween this year. I usually love seeing all the fun costumes and cute little faces so excited for candy!! And then I remember being young and getting home and then the real fun starts with the candy swaps! It was so fun. Oh so fun. I listened to all the trick-or treating from my room this year, but I look forward to future years with our kids.

We just have to brave one small winter . . . ;)